I became a mom after 40s. I gave birth so late that my age group doesn’t appear in fertility tables. I was 47 years old when I gave birth to my beautiful son. For readers who are aware of the congenital heart defects of my son, it has nothing to do with my age. I don’t have any fertility stories to share since my son was conceived naturally. What I want to do here is addressing misconceptions about midlife parenting.
Some call us selfish to have waited so long, others assume that we do it to fill void in our life. Personally, I feel that it is better for everyone — that is, you and your kids — when you are ready to be a parent.
Zack was planned. I reached a point in my life where I saw myself embracing motherhood. I knew that my life would change and I welcomed it. I already had a full life. So I didn’t mind to put a few things on hold since I already lived many amazing experiences, I achieved many personal and business goals and I have travelled a lot. Becoming a parent enriched my life and made me a better person.
The ideal situation for kids is when they live with both parents in a happy home. The first advantage of being an older mom is that, statistically, we are in a stronger marriage. This fits my situation.
You have more focus on what matters to you since you know what makes you happy as you grow older. This impacts how you choose to raise your kids, which values you wish to transmit them, which rules they must follow and what your family life will look like.
I had a career. Working always played an important role in defining who I am. I need that sense of fulfillment and excitement. I felt great in my work when I decided to get pregnant. It is probably why I knew that I could and would go back to being a full-time entrepreneur. I knew that I would be able to adapt and if necessary, to reinvent my business. This is what I am doing. I reexamined my personal goals and business goals in other to focus on what really matters. This is one advantage of being your own boss: you can create a business that enables you to have time for your business, for my family and for yourself.
One comment that we often hear about older moms is the fact that we might not live long enough to see our grandchildren. It’s true! I used to worry about that after my son’s birth, but not anymore. My son doesn’t care about my age. What he cares about is the quality time and the love that I give him. Plus, nobody can predict when he or she will die. In fact, older moms tend to live older than the norm. It might be because we usually are in good health. Therefore, as any actuary will tell you, we are more likely to live longer.
In case that you are considering midlife parenting, let’s quickly examine the fertility element. Did you know that the three main factors that improve any woman’s chances to get pregnant are: being healthy, having a normal weight, and reducing her stress level? You can take control of at least 2 factors out of these 3.
My message has two parts.
- Parenting is awesome when you are ready for it. I can’t imagine my life without my son in it.
- Don’t let your age dictates what you can or can’t do. I am proud to be an older mom.